Godly Sorrow by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/05/2006 at 12:15 PM

Ted makes a good point about the "non-apology." I’ve often been guilty of “I’m sorry, but....” It is difficult to accept full responsibility—especially when you're not really sorry. What is the source of a true apology? Paul speaks to the Corinthians of the benefit of repentance:

"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." —2 Corinthians 7:8-10

Paul seems to express some regret as to the delivery of his judgment on the Corinthians. Perhaps he was too harsh. Perhaps he wrote in anger. Perhaps he did not fully consider how his words would hurt its readers. And yet he praises their response. Regardless of whether the rebuke was delivered in an offensive way, the Corinthians took it to heart and changed. They allowed God to mold them through it.

A true apology is not an external action. It requires inward humility and sorrow over how ones actions have affected another. Even if the person we have offended exposes the offense in a way that makes us defensive, we should seek to allow the Lord to cultivate "godly sorrow" in our hearts.

Notice, also, that some actions may not require an apology, but affirmation. Paul does not apologize for his rebuke to the Corinthians because he sees the good it has done. He does offer the people extra love and encouragement in their state of brokenness. Apologies should stand in truth and be motivated by godly sorrow.

Godly Sorrow by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/05/2006 at 12:15 PM

Ted makes a good point about the "non-apology." I’ve often been guilty of “I’m sorry, but....” It is difficult to accept full responsibility—especially when you're not really sorry. What is the source of a true apology? Paul speaks to the Corinthians of the benefit of repentance:

"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." —2 Corinthians 7:8-10

Paul seems to express some regret as to the delivery of his judgment on the Corinthians. Perhaps he was too harsh. Perhaps he wrote in anger. Perhaps he did not fully consider how his words would hurt its readers. And yet he praises their response. Regardless of whether the rebuke was delivered in an offensive way, the Corinthians took it to heart and changed. They allowed God to mold them through it.

A true apology is not an external action. It requires inward humility and sorrow over how ones actions have affected another. Even if the person we have offended exposes the offense in a way that makes us defensive, we should seek to allow the Lord to cultivate "godly sorrow" in our hearts.

Notice, also, that some actions may not require an apology, but affirmation. Paul does not apologize for his rebuke to the Corinthians because he sees the good it has done. He does offer the people extra love and encouragement in their state of brokenness. Apologies should stand in truth and be motivated by godly sorrow.